Who is Marrying These Hoes?

Who is marrying these hoes? This is one of those views that is for the most part from the outside looking in. Some research. but not much personal experience. Time and time again the women in my generations bring up something they will do when they are married. More often than not someone will always say something to the effect of "your body count mad high and you're talking about marriage" or "You cant even keep a man but you talking about marriage." Well I am here to say "cool it, and sekkle down." For one, men do not always check for a woman with morals. I hate to bash (well no I dont)but you cant beef about not being able to find women with body counts lower than 5 if you dont give good girls a chance.I have heard many men say they will not deal with a virgin. Those same men want low body counts. What is the joke? I am blaming you for being a hypocrite and not respecting morals when it is essentially what you want your queen to have. We cannot compare this generation to the generations before us and if you are not entertaining the women who are up-keeping certain standards, you should not complain about what you get. Our generation has way more sex because as humans we have needs and unlike our great grand parents who found love at 19, we want to get our lives together, build careers and essentially build who we are before we decided to spend our lives with someone else. On that journey, both genders will have their needs met in this silly game we call talking, cuffing or whatever the hell else. This thing were guys get sex because they dont neccesarily require as much affection and they will settle for meanless affection; and women will practice their jedi tricks (@mike_2pt0's theory) to be able to feed their need to be loved and cared for. Why do I bring this up? Because this is what is happening at the time that we are essentially supposed to be getting married (if we followed the stone age) so how can we hold women at the same standards now that we did before?

Just food for thought, think about the basic things men are known to like (I am sure there is a level of inaccuracy, I've never been a man)

A woman who satisfies him sexually and does it well: You enjoy when a woman does all the right things in the bedroom and actively make fun of women who have no idea what they are doing. Well, practice makes perfect (not to say that all sex goddesses have had a lot of practice)but realize that in order to prepare to please you best she can either watch porn and try it (which is not easy for everyone as for as self esteem goes) or do what a large amount of women have done; Practice until they get it right, sometimes on men that were just practice. All I'm saying is I've heard too many men say they wouldn't date a virgin or a girl who didn't give head because she wouldn't know what she was doing and they don't have time for that.Especially when the job can get done by someone who is skilled and willing.Go ahead, rule out the women with moral standards then complain about all women being hoes -_-

A woman who already knows how to be in a relationship: Does all the right things, doesnt annoy you, doesnt ask for too much, cant be easily walked over and all of the components of a compatable commitment. How can she do this without having had a few bad relationships? Why wouldnt you want to guide her in the right path as opposed to finding someone who already has those qualities?

My point is, at the time when marriage was more common we cant only look at what women are doing differently but also, what were the men doing differently?

I am not debating you on your preferences (even though I feel like if you have never had a GF/BF and are actively looking for one while you constantly talk about what women/men need to do to be girlfriend/wife/boyfriend/wife material, I do not trust your opinion. Why cant you find a girl/guy? what are YOU doing wrong? why aren't the type of people YOU like checking for YOU????) I am just asking you what you are doing to support having those preferences be available? Are you ruling out the man who cant hit it right for the one that been piping everything in your building? Are you ruling out the girl who doesn't feel comfortable giving head for the girl you wont ever be with that lies about her bodies?

In the end, when you settle down and she is done with her "hoe phase" ... you will be the one marrying these hoes. Or you can be that guy in supermarket shopping for one if you continue to encourage exactly what you don't want.

Note: As judgmental as this may seem on surface please do not take it as that way and take it for the idea that is.

What’s My Name
Well, my name is Simone. I’ve been obsessed with names that define me since I could remember. This past Weekend I took on the name “Simoncè” a play on my name, using Beyonce, who to me is the ultimate diva. I won’t say I carried myself as well as she does but when I’m Simoncè I feel like I’m all that and a back of kettle cooked chips.

I’ve actually taken on quite a few names in my day. A lot of people call me “Simoni” (sim-own-ee). Something I don’t like being called but here’s the story behind that name: in middle school I decided that when I got to high school and the teachers called my name on the attendance, I would correct their pronunciation and tell them its sih- mon-ee. That way ppl would pronounce my name that way. At that time I was into the whole getting dressed up, wearing heels everyday in any weather, get my hair/nails done often phase that i referred to as being a diva. I didn’t think Simone was diva-like enough to represent me. By the time the name stuck, it was and still is mispronounced by people who refused to stop calling me that or correct their pronunciation I know, you wondering why it’s still my name on all of my networks, right? Because I am still her, I am sih-mon-ee Nicole but if you are going to call me that, at least pronounce it properly. Also, I’m still from the old school where I limit the idea of putting my name all over the Internet.

The nickname: it actually took quite some time to arrive at “monie” being my nickname. I got it from BET’s cartoon “Hey Monie” a show I never watched but happened to know that the main character’s name was Simone. Before that I called myself Keisha, Precious Medley, Sim, Lady S, Sim Simma and for some time I even called myself Mo-Mo.

It’s interesting, having a name …. U know? Like we take our name for granted but our name is what represents us. It’s the first thing people who don’t know us hear or see about us. I like my name, now though. I think it represents me. Simone, so simple. Not an outlandish name… Other people have it but it’s not common. It’s pretty and sweet. I love being Simone.

Fall 2010

I've always been someone who enjoyed a good challenge. I've had very difficult semesters throughout my college career but this one sure as hell took the cake. I'm almost certain it has destructed my mental health. For the first time in my life I felt incompetent. Now, as a college student these are feelings that can be very damaging and detrimental. We are in a situation where if we feel like we can't we have to decide whether or not it's wise to continue to spend 42,000 dollars a year only to never fully grasp what your being taught. I for one am not the type to give up just because of a mere 6-10 week struggle but I wonder... How many people who could have been great gave up on there dream because a professor told them they didn't have what it takes. How many of Obama's peers laughed when he told them he was thinking of rumbaing for president? All I'm saying here is... When the going gets tough... Show the going who's boss. I feel like this semester only taught me that life isn't smooth sailing just because I'm smart and intelligent (and I say that humbly) sometime there are going to be major set backs, like fall 2010. Life doesn't always go according to plan. I'm really taking this major loss with a bucket of sugar but Im not giving up. What do you do when you find yourself in a situation that you feel is trying your future?

The Black Woman’s Manifesto For 2011

http://clutchmagonline.com/lifeculture/feature/black-women%E2%80%99s-manifesto-for-2011/

Take a look.

The Facts of Life.

So many really bad situations have been happening in my life. This song sums up how ive been trying to think and feel the last six weeks are so.

You take the good, you take the bad,
you take them both and there you have
The Facts of Life, the Facts of Life.

There's a time you got to go and show
You're growin' now you know about
The Facts of Life, the Facts of Life.

When the world never seems
to be livin up to your dreams
And suddenly you're finding out
the Facts of Life are all about you, you.

It takes a lot to get 'em right
When you're learning the Facts of Life. (learning the Facts of Life)

The Single Woman

Last night I was having a conversation with someone who has been single for three years. Prior to this... she had a been in a long term committed relationship for about 5 years. She, like myself is content with the single life. Interestingly enough I just saw Just Wright. In the movie, Queen Latifah has a hard time finding a boyfriend and was bitter and disappointed that she was so old (35) and couldn't get into a relationship.

Now the person I had the conversation with spoke highly of the single life. I asked her why other girls are so bitter about being single since the life of having options is so enjoyable. She replied "Because they cant find people." Sheesh. Never thought about it that way. That must really hurt some women's feelings. Imagine the idea of going through life feeling like you just aren't good enough. Well... words of advice.

1) The whole man bashing? Thats not going to help. They'll smell your bitterness and run far away.

2) Stop Clinging to these men. You get one and you want to hold on for dear life. If that should be built up. not forced. Forcing is the one guaranteed way to have him leave you.

3) Just chill. You need to know who you are before you go out and find someone else. If you cant find yourself content enough to just be one with yourself, it just may not be healthy for you to be in a relationship.

4) Stop living your life based off of @TheSingleWoman (on twitter) [wanna hear a secret] Men arent going to think your stronger because you RT their cliche quotes and words of advice. They'll actually make judgement on the fact that your following @TheSingleWoman on twitter AND that you find all that crap inspirational

5) LAST but not Least. Youv'e gotten WAY too far in reading a post about how to keep a man from a Single Woman. Do you see why thats a problem? Stop feeding into all this how to get/keep a man stuff in self help books and on the internet. Just be you. If your not you then the next blog you'll be wanting to read is "The Broken-Hearted"

Just some thoughts ladies. Dont be a whore but enjoy your life and your youth. These men, they'll always be here. And since you like cliche stuff anyways.... "If its meant to be itll be"

Unusual Addictions

So... Usually people who are addicted to social networks have no life. Although I'm addicted, I am not one of those. My addiction is severe. I'm someone who likes to know things. Ive been that way throughout my whole life. Popularity was never a factor, there are times and situations where I have been the popular one and times when I was just some girl, in both cases I still needed to know what was happening around me. My love for twitter came about because people tweet their realest feelings (whether they realize it our not) and often times just by following someone... even if they are "fronting for twitter" it is not difficult to get a sense of who that person is.
While trying to have a friend join the network I told her its like a sure fire way of keeping up with your friends even when they are no where near you.
This isn't a post to profess my love for social networks (its actually a way to procrastinate now that Ive eliminated them for finals seasons) but to share with you something Ive noticed. My constant interaction with friends (and people of that nature) through my twitter and Facebook has almost nullified the fact that I do not have any friends at my new school, it actually minimizes my efforts (although i do make some) to form new relationships. I find myself so sealed into the life of my friends, people of that nature and the people I love that as opposed to settling into my situation I keep tabs with them and anticipate gatherings.
Should their be a cap on friendships? Is there an amount that once your content you should stop? There cant possibly THAT many people in this world that you get along with so well. (unless your Greek, of course) By the way I forgot many of my readers dont know me. Theses thought (these somewhat random thoughts) are not usual for me. Im the type of person who loves to meet new people. Im just wondering If its completely necessary to make more friends and have more relationships that I would like to be everlasting. How many people should I really share bonds with? I haven't been victim to a back stabbing friendship yet but Im quite sure that having too many and the eagerness to have friends can be a prime factor.

That being said, Im not bitter that I havent mad friends at school yet. (Disappointed but not bitter). I just wonder... if i couldn't connect to the people im familiar with... would I be upset and saddened at my lack of friends on campus? Would I make more of an effort to hang with people here? Hmmmmm I wonder.