Fall 2010

I've always been someone who enjoyed a good challenge. I've had very difficult semesters throughout my college career but this one sure as hell took the cake. I'm almost certain it has destructed my mental health. For the first time in my life I felt incompetent. Now, as a college student these are feelings that can be very damaging and detrimental. We are in a situation where if we feel like we can't we have to decide whether or not it's wise to continue to spend 42,000 dollars a year only to never fully grasp what your being taught. I for one am not the type to give up just because of a mere 6-10 week struggle but I wonder... How many people who could have been great gave up on there dream because a professor told them they didn't have what it takes. How many of Obama's peers laughed when he told them he was thinking of rumbaing for president? All I'm saying here is... When the going gets tough... Show the going who's boss. I feel like this semester only taught me that life isn't smooth sailing just because I'm smart and intelligent (and I say that humbly) sometime there are going to be major set backs, like fall 2010. Life doesn't always go according to plan. I'm really taking this major loss with a bucket of sugar but Im not giving up. What do you do when you find yourself in a situation that you feel is trying your future?

The Black Woman’s Manifesto For 2011

http://clutchmagonline.com/lifeculture/feature/black-women%E2%80%99s-manifesto-for-2011/

Take a look.

The Facts of Life.

So many really bad situations have been happening in my life. This song sums up how ive been trying to think and feel the last six weeks are so.

You take the good, you take the bad,
you take them both and there you have
The Facts of Life, the Facts of Life.

There's a time you got to go and show
You're growin' now you know about
The Facts of Life, the Facts of Life.

When the world never seems
to be livin up to your dreams
And suddenly you're finding out
the Facts of Life are all about you, you.

It takes a lot to get 'em right
When you're learning the Facts of Life. (learning the Facts of Life)

The Single Woman

Last night I was having a conversation with someone who has been single for three years. Prior to this... she had a been in a long term committed relationship for about 5 years. She, like myself is content with the single life. Interestingly enough I just saw Just Wright. In the movie, Queen Latifah has a hard time finding a boyfriend and was bitter and disappointed that she was so old (35) and couldn't get into a relationship.

Now the person I had the conversation with spoke highly of the single life. I asked her why other girls are so bitter about being single since the life of having options is so enjoyable. She replied "Because they cant find people." Sheesh. Never thought about it that way. That must really hurt some women's feelings. Imagine the idea of going through life feeling like you just aren't good enough. Well... words of advice.

1) The whole man bashing? Thats not going to help. They'll smell your bitterness and run far away.

2) Stop Clinging to these men. You get one and you want to hold on for dear life. If that should be built up. not forced. Forcing is the one guaranteed way to have him leave you.

3) Just chill. You need to know who you are before you go out and find someone else. If you cant find yourself content enough to just be one with yourself, it just may not be healthy for you to be in a relationship.

4) Stop living your life based off of @TheSingleWoman (on twitter) [wanna hear a secret] Men arent going to think your stronger because you RT their cliche quotes and words of advice. They'll actually make judgement on the fact that your following @TheSingleWoman on twitter AND that you find all that crap inspirational

5) LAST but not Least. Youv'e gotten WAY too far in reading a post about how to keep a man from a Single Woman. Do you see why thats a problem? Stop feeding into all this how to get/keep a man stuff in self help books and on the internet. Just be you. If your not you then the next blog you'll be wanting to read is "The Broken-Hearted"

Just some thoughts ladies. Dont be a whore but enjoy your life and your youth. These men, they'll always be here. And since you like cliche stuff anyways.... "If its meant to be itll be"

Unusual Addictions

So... Usually people who are addicted to social networks have no life. Although I'm addicted, I am not one of those. My addiction is severe. I'm someone who likes to know things. Ive been that way throughout my whole life. Popularity was never a factor, there are times and situations where I have been the popular one and times when I was just some girl, in both cases I still needed to know what was happening around me. My love for twitter came about because people tweet their realest feelings (whether they realize it our not) and often times just by following someone... even if they are "fronting for twitter" it is not difficult to get a sense of who that person is.
While trying to have a friend join the network I told her its like a sure fire way of keeping up with your friends even when they are no where near you.
This isn't a post to profess my love for social networks (its actually a way to procrastinate now that Ive eliminated them for finals seasons) but to share with you something Ive noticed. My constant interaction with friends (and people of that nature) through my twitter and Facebook has almost nullified the fact that I do not have any friends at my new school, it actually minimizes my efforts (although i do make some) to form new relationships. I find myself so sealed into the life of my friends, people of that nature and the people I love that as opposed to settling into my situation I keep tabs with them and anticipate gatherings.
Should their be a cap on friendships? Is there an amount that once your content you should stop? There cant possibly THAT many people in this world that you get along with so well. (unless your Greek, of course) By the way I forgot many of my readers dont know me. Theses thought (these somewhat random thoughts) are not usual for me. Im the type of person who loves to meet new people. Im just wondering If its completely necessary to make more friends and have more relationships that I would like to be everlasting. How many people should I really share bonds with? I haven't been victim to a back stabbing friendship yet but Im quite sure that having too many and the eagerness to have friends can be a prime factor.

That being said, Im not bitter that I havent mad friends at school yet. (Disappointed but not bitter). I just wonder... if i couldn't connect to the people im familiar with... would I be upset and saddened at my lack of friends on campus? Would I make more of an effort to hang with people here? Hmmmmm I wonder.

New Year!

Everyone knows.... new YEAR means New Year's resolutions. My idea of a "resolution" is a little bit different. The whole "It 20__ Im cutting fake people off and blah blah" or the "This year is MY year" stuff is cute. However its old and redundant. If you feel strong about a goal why wait until a new year? Start now! Instead Ive made a tradition. I think of a quote to live by on New Years and thats the one I live by. If i find it before then, ill just live according to it upon retrieval. Also... if its your resolution, you should want to LIVE by it. In 2005 my resolution was "The good over powers the bad" almost 6 years later and I still live by that it difficult as it is to really believe and invest in that when times get hard. If you've decided that your going to make a resolution live by it. Instead of "cutting off all the fake people" why dont you aspire to network and meet better people, then continue to do that for the rest of your life? Think about it. If we are going to make New Year's day a milestone for a major change, make it a real and major significant change that focuses on positivity.

Home Work ... About that....

What is your favorite pass time when you want to procrastinate? I just deactivated my Facebook (since I don't have self control) and now that I have a a phone... i can change my twitter password. All that though? Yea... I know I should be old/mature enough to just get it done, right? Such is life. :p

What Do We Learn at Funerals

Tonight I went to the funeral of my God Sister's older brother. A good man who literally lived his live to the fullest and brought joy to those who knew him. And I say that as someone who didnt know him very well, the few times I did meet, see or come in contact with him though, it was nothing short of a pleasure. Anyhow, I must commend the Webster family. Naeem Webster's "Celebration of Life" was well done. For one the church had quite a few hundred people of every caliber there to pay their respects, all of which had unlimited good things to say. Next the service was so well done that the pastor (who has never met Naeem) was so enlightened as to what his character was like that he felt comfortable enough to try making a joke on Naeem's behalf. Actually, everyone tried, no one came close though, Ny was clearly the better comedian.

Anyhow point of this was: Naeem was fortunate enough to have been someone who found his value in life. He was one of the few young people who can do really well, progress and give back while succeeding as well as being the perfect friend, brother, boyfriend, son or person to know. It is because of that and his nature that he was able to PACK a church and have ROWS of people standing in the back and both sides of the church for two hours to say goodbye. I'm sure people left the service and all they could think of how good of a person he was. I left happy that he was celebrated so well and excited that he was able to live such a good life.

How many times do we witness loved a one passing or go into a funeral for support and feel inspired. Inspired to live our lives so we can be memorable. Everyone knows after mourning our selfish self wonders... What if that was ME? What would people have to say? Would they have good memories? Would I have left and impact? Will people even show up to say bye? Then for the next few days, weeks and sometimes months that we mourn we try to live our lives well and take risks. Truth is, we never know when its our last day. Then a few months, maybe a year after people forget that feeling and continue to go back to a life where they may not be remembered well or may not be full-filling their lives as much as they possibly can.

Im tired of watching people get inspired and then loose their inspiration soon after. With that being said: Truly live your live to the fullest, Raise your children well (when your ready to have children), Make sacrifices to spend time with them, love your friends and embrace those that actually care about you. Full-fill the life you have the ability to fulfill while you still can and always remember to love yourself.

African American Orginizations

Notice Ive been starting my posts inspired by programs at school? This one is inspired by CWPOST's Meet The Cultural Greek program/forum

Lets start by my recognition that theres such a big open emphasis on the differnce. Last week's school's newspaper stated that Post has x amount of sororities and fraternities as well as some cultural organizations. Isnt that similiar to saying something like "My class has 5 white girls and a bunch of other cultural girls" ... but anyways, this post is about the presence of HBCUs, Divine Nine orginizations and the NAACP and orginizations like it. Are they still worth it? Its pretty much common knowledge that these organizations were started to advance colored people who at the time they were created were being oppressed, treated unfairly and or being kept separate. The beginining of these institutions were essential then to any development and were helpful to African Americans, and they still are.



HBCU (Historically Black Colleges/Universities) Were created when African Americans were not allowed in white universities. Today most of those universities/colleges are still predominantly African American. Now Ive heard people express digust in HBCU's, they feel like it keeps African American students down. I don't.I have particular and specific reasons why I did not attend an HBCU for my undergraduate degree/experience BUT i seriously admire the culture that these institutions embed in their students and communities. These instituions have their students endure well rounded college experiences while learning and exploring their own culture and their roots. These schools host topics, classes, curriculums and programs that expose the beauty embeded in African Culture, they even make the effort to incorporate African american traditions such as step/stroll in their everyday campus life; these are things that most "multicultural" or predominantly white learning institutions do not see the need to institute into their schools. The learning and cultural experience that graduates of HBCU acquire is beautiful and admirable. HBCUs cultivate and inspire people to go out into their own communities and the world to make a difference.
Some notable HBCU Graduates are:

Oprah Winfrey, a graduate of Tennessee State University; U.S. Supreme Court Justice Thurgood Marshall, a graduate of Lincoln University and Howard University College of Law; Martin Luther King Jr. from Morehouse; poet Nikki Giovanni (Fisk), and Langston Hughes (Lincoln); Jesse Jackson from North Carolina A & T; James Weldon Johnson* Clark Atlanta (Writer of Negro National Anthem);Spike Lee Morehouse College; Rosa Parks* Alabama State University ...... Trust me I can go on and on.

The Divine Nine are the nine historically black greek letter orginizations under the National Pan Hellc Council. those organizations are: Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity Inc (1906), Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority Inc (1908), Kappa Alpha Psi Fraternity Inc (1911), Omega Psi Phi Fraternity Inc(1911), Delta Sigma Theta Sorority Inc(1913),Phi Beta Sigma Fraternity Inc (1914), Zeta Phi Beta Soroity Inc(1920), Sigma Gamma Rho sorority Inc (1922) and Iota Phi theata Fraternity Inc.

These orginizations were all created along the morals of a positive brother/sisterhood that would better their perspective college communities and their experiences and to act as support systems through the jorney of getting a college education, something that was most difficult at those times. Many of the founders were 1,2,3,4 generations from slavery and their courage and ambition lead them to not only go to college but to back sure they were productive experiences.Each one has different particular goals and projects that their organization works towards. Although they are considered social they are known for their selectivity and their dedication to serving the schools and communities they are a part of as well as doing charitable work toward many operations. "NPHC promotes interaction through forums, meetings and other mediums for the exchange of information and engages in cooperative programming and initiatives through various activities and functions"
One of the things I personally admire the most about African American greek culture the most is their life-long comittment to their respective organizations. Although many traditional greek organizations are for the duration of college, d9 organizations are life long. Graduates students and post graduates may (and most do) still be active in their organizations way after they have complete schooling. These organizations create various programs throughout the nation and internantionally serving many people. These organizations are also admirable for embracing and practicing rituals that keep african american ancestry and culture alive. They also produce and inspire many prominant people in African American culture.

Notable members of Divine Nine Organizations:
Alpha Phi Alpha: W.E.B. Dubois, Writer, Historian, Civil Rights Activist, Philosopher; Frederick Douglass - Anti-slavery activist; Martin Luther King, Jr., Civil rights activist; Thurgood Marshall - Civil Rights Activist, Supreme Court Justice; Adam Clayton Powell, Jr., Civil Rights Activist; Paul Robeson, Actor/Athlete/Activist

Alpha Kappa Alpha: Jane Adams, Maya Angelou, Ella Fitzgerald, Althea Gibson, Star jones, Coretta Scott King, Toni Morrison, Rosa Parks,Phylicia Rashad, Eleanor Roosevelt, Ntozake Shaunge, Jada Pinkett Smith,

Kappa Alpha Psi: William Johnson CEO of Black Entertainment Television, Inc.; John Singleton Director of Boyz N The Hood, Poetic Justice, and Higher Learning
; Joe Clair Host of BET's Rap City; Montell Jordan Recording Artist; Cedric the Entertainer Comedian; Mark Adkins Sinbad's Manager/Brother; Played "Grady" on the "Sanford and Son" sitcom; Johnny L. Cochran, Jr. Attorney; Dr. Rev. Ralph Abernathy Civil rights leader and former President of SCLC; Thomas Bradley Past Grand Polemarch Former Mayor of Los Angeles, CA; Carl Stokes Frst Black Mayor of a major US city (Cleveland, OH);Rep. John L. Conyers Congressman, D-MI; Intoduced legislature to make Dr. Martin Luther King's Birthday a National Holiday; Rep. Alcee Hastings Congressman, D-FL; Elihu Harris Mayor, Oakland, CA; Rep. Albert R. Wynn Congressman, D-MD;Rep. Walter E. Fauntroy Congressman, D-D.C.; Michael White Mayor, Cleveland, OH Zeta Chapter; Rep. George W. Crockett, Jr. Congressman, D-MI;

Omega Psi Phi: Langston Hughes – Famous Poet; Edward Lewis - Chairman and CEO of Essence Communications; Bill Cosby – Comedian, actor and author; Steve Harvey – Comedian and radio host; Charles F. Bolden, Jr - Astronaut; Roscoe Robinson – First Black Four Star General – U.S. Army; Vince Carter – Orlando Magic Shooting Guard; Michael Jordan – NBA Legend ;Steve McNair – Former NFL player, Rev. Jesse Jackson

Delta Sigma Theta: Kim Coles, Adrien-Joi Johnson, T'Keyah Crystal Keymáh, Keshia Knight Pulliam, Nikki Giovanni, Adrienne Watson Carve, Shirley Caesar, Roberta Flack, Aretha Franklin, Lena Horne, Daisy Bates, Fannie Lou Hamer, Mary McLeod Bethune, Betty Jean Sanders-Shabazz, Camille Cosby

Phi Beta Sigma: George Washington Carver,Blair Underwood, Al Joyner, Andrew Valmon, Eric Williams, Rod Paige, Rick James, David Ruffin, Melvin Franklin, Morris Chestnut,Al Sharpton, A Philip Randolph,Huey P Newton, Ben Chavis Muhammad, Malik Yoba, Quincy Jones

Zeta Phi Beta: Vanessa Bell Armstrong,Zora Neale Hurston,Esther Rolle, Sheryl Underwood, Violette Anderson - First African American attorney, Violette Anderson,

Sigma Gamma Rho: MC Lyte, Kelly Price, Hattie McDaniels - First African-American Actress to win an Oscar- Best Supporting Actress in Gone with the Wind, Judge Joyce Williams Warren - The First African-American Judge in Arkansas, Mary Washington - First African-American CPA, Ruth Whitehead Whaley - First African-American woman to actively practice law in the U.S.,Tonya Lee Williams - Actress, The Young and the Restless

Iota Phi theta: T.C Carson, Desi Arnez Hines II,

... and MANY, MANY More....

Civil Rights Organizations and organizations that empower African Americans and promote unity and awareness such as the NAACP (Nationally) and BSU (college campuses all over the country).






The NAACP was started in 1909 to start the active rebellion and civil rights movements/demonstrations against lynching and other violent acts against African American people. NAACP makes strides to ensure social, economic and political equality for African Americans.Over 100 years later NAACP has national head quarters as well as chapters all over the country and in many states, cities and college campuses. Do we still need it? Yes! We do. NAACP is not only still active in making sure african americans are equal but also makes efforts to strengthen the African american communities, encourage unity and highlight strides made by prominent black people in America.

I could start a list of notable people from the NAACP but most of the names you have heard associated with civil rights movements as well of the names listed above would all make up the list along with many, many more.


Another organization that is nationwide (although not united by a head quarters or one mission) is BSU. On many college campuses across America you can find a campus club called BSU. While at my current school it stands for "Black Students United" it also stands for "Black Students Union" on most campuses. Other names for these clubs are "Black Student Association, African Americans Associated and many other variations of that name. Although each is different the main goal of these campus organizations is to bring the black-american students together to discuss issues in the afro-american community, make strides to improving our communities and to provide campus awareness about afro-american culture and customs. Isn't that like separating ourselves? No. There are still white people who do not respect or pay much attention to black people. If we dont take the time to get together to try teaching them about us who will? How do you expect someone to respect something they know nothing about? If we cant collectively better our own communities... who will?

This was long enough though. So.... until next time.

NOTE: I am not a student at an HBCU nor am I a member of an NPHC organization. I am an active member of a campus chapter of NAACP and the CWPOST BSU.

Where did the time go?

Ive always been obsessed with scheduling every minute of my day. As silly and tiresome as that makes me I feel like I'm wasting time if I don't. It started with having a Saturday full of different types of dance classes at age 8 to doing two musicals at one time while assuming full responsibility of my niece, escalated to PM school, cheer-leading, school plays and student government and no one can imagine what its like in college. I even jam pack my vacations. Last summer I had two jobs while taking two classes. Trust me, I'm not bragging, I just need you to have an idea of how obsessed I am with time and how much i need to use all of mine. Its almost like I don't want to have any for myself.

I don't feel accomplished if I dont know what ill be doing every hour of the day. I even started to schedule my shower. I put my friends in time slots and even arrive late so I dont waste time waiting on them (you know? Colored People Time)I leave my house 1/2 hour earlier then what google maps says I should so that I can fit in time to stop stop off for a donut. In the morning I set my alarm clock for an hour and a half earlier so I can have my scheduled snoozes.

Clubs and organizations are very important for me, if I didnt have those to schedule in I would go INSANE with extra time and most likely flunk out of college. I hate when people waste my time. If someone doesn't keep my an appointment with me it makes me very upset because I know there's something else I could have been doing. I once had a friend that ALWAYS canceled on me. My solution to that? Always have back up plans when he made plans with me. Dead space is time wasted.

Maybe other students arent obsessed with time like i am but most of my peers (college trained young adults) are almost always pressed for time. Papers to do, clubs to participate in as well as a Thursday-Sunday full of festivities. Imagine if this is what our life is like now, how will it be when we have to report to work forty hours per week for all 52 weeks (unless your in the education system)? Should we slow down? can we slow down? We never got a chance. In elementary school we needed to compete to be in the soar/astro/javits programs, in middle school we wanted to get into a good High School, In High School we wanted to get into college AND get scholarships in college we need an impressive experience and resume to get a good job and once we GET the job we have to keep it; because all those college kids that graduate after us are going to try to TAKE our jobs.

If you think about it that strategically when will we ever have TIME??? When will we ever get to rest? When we're old and have dementia and cant enjoy it? When we retire at age 70 (since they keep raising the age) and have grand kids to obsess over?

Time is a funny thing, man. We dont have enough of it and if we had more I'm quite sure we would find ways to soak that up too.

From the lips of the Ambiguous Girl

When Big Sean's mix tape first dropped a couple of my friends told me I should listen to "Ambiguous Girl" some told me that jokingly but a male friend of mine thought it was important for me to hear it. I laughed it off of course, no biggie.

Here I go again with another post that makes me feel oblivious to real life. I always found guys more easy to make friends (or person of that nature) with. Men are more approachable than females. While females always seem to think there's some ulterior motive in you trying to be social with them men welcome it, from almost anyone.

So how exactly should I approach a man I think may make a good friend (or person of that nature)? In my experience smiling is flirting, conversation/hanging out means you like said man, and going to a persons dorm to hang out means that you want to have sex. There have been too many times when I have found men who I think are cool and just want to befriend them then they end up asking me for a date and treat the word "friend" like an insult.

Men and women will never live in the same world, nor will we ever understand each other but there are a lot of other women out there who (like me) aren't hip. If you say you want to chill then I don't expect you to subtly place your hand on my leg. Men often find themselves upset when women try to read into their actions/words but if men don't stop talking in code then what do they expect?

When someone invite ME to watch a movie, I expect a movie and maybe some popcorn,sex a factor in the equation. If someone invites ME to chill I better get some conversation, thats what chilling is about.

We're all young adults/adults Let start saying what we mean. Chances are if she's interested, she'll be "down" no matter how you approach it, stop making the lives of people like me who are just friendly so difficult ;)

Scared To Know...

Ever feel like everyone knows something but you? Well thats my every day life and i KNOW i cant be the only one. Urban dictionary and wikipedia happen to be two of my very close friends. I love music and all but I never know what going on with who and who has beef with who. All i know is: hey i like that song. I never know new terminology, I still say "holla" to agree with someone and "the bomb" when something is hot. (no joke) No making fun of me now, my slang is vintage.

Anyway sometimes I find myself embarrassed when I can't spell simple words, I know it doesn't make me less of a student and potential scholar I actually think I'm pretty intelligent. There are countless times when I want to send a tweet but I make myself wait until I confirm that i spelled a word properly. I cant have my peers thinking i'm illiterate, ya know?

There have been so many times when everyone knows something but me and asking always makes me the bud of a joke, but I like to know things. I find it funny when I see someone say or tweet something and I type it into Google to see what it means. So I dont get put on blast for asking my friends.

On time, I asked a friend what a "shimmy" was and they tweeted about me AND told a Kappa we know. (no biggie though, I love them. My friends are great). Totally wasn't that silly of a question, let me just add that "shimmy" in dance world is very different from "shimmy" in Greek world (im just saying)

Growing up we were taught "Theres no such thing as a stupid question" and I actually still believe in that. If i dont have my Google/urban dictionary handy i ask. I dont mind being the bud of the joke for the moment because I dont know everything and I enjoy learning from my peers. Theres always something new to learn about. Things that i wonder about maybe common sense to others but its cool. So no, I cant spell and no i am not a human dictionary, i dont ever know what going on outside of my happy bubble but I do like to learn and i am never scared to know. So please, enlighten me.

I'm Every Woman

I love this song but the video, I love even more. It was beautiful to see Keri Hilson do a tribute to Josephine baker, Dorthy Dandridge, Diana Ross, The Supremes, Janet Jackson and TLC. Industry women and women in general have such a hard time accepting and loving each other. No I dont live in a world where i walk on cupcakes and life is sweet but I don't find anything wrong with admiring and acknowledging other women. Im tired of reading about how well Nicki Minaj dissed Lil Kim and how Eve is a hasbin. Seriously? Why cant they just be three women who make/made music that people love(whethere or not they are ALL quality is another post entirely). Am I too innocent to understand why Nikki can't say "Kim was good and so am I"?
Women are haters. Ladies, how many times have you felt your saying: "She's cute, but she's a hoe" or "Those shoes are cute, but I would have worn them better." Woman to woman that is not the way to go. When a fellow lady has something good going on why not point it out and compliment? I just dont understand the need to top each other and then rub it in.

Trust me, there is no harm try it. Next time you see a female and something about her is on point. You could make her day and it will make you feel good to make her feel good =)

It's Because I'm Black.

Within the past week two of my meetings with predominantly black members hosted discussions that slightly aggravated me. Now the topics discussed included "Why do black people live above their means?" and "Why do black people focus on money, cars, clothes and hoes?" (Disclaimer: That wasn't the exact topic but it the conversation took it there quickly)

Are you SERIOUS? Now growing up I was made to feel like me and my relatives where exceptions to some black rules that I wasn't aware of. However, as a young adult I have way too many peers to still believe that me and my small group were different. Most of my friends and people I hang out with are black and I feel like we, as people play the race card on each other too much.

The idea that black people are the only ones who "live above means" is ridiculous. My personal definition of living above means is to spend more than you earn, therefore spending more money than you can afford to spend. That means that everyone that took out a loan to pay for the college that they wear the Gucci bag (they bought on credit to) is living above their means. Everyone has a different agenda, everyone wants to present themselves the way they believe is best whether are not they can afford it. If Americans in general weren't living "above their means" these banks would be out of business with no credit card, loans or mortgage customers.

Also to think that only black people have groups of people that thrive for lots of cash, cars, clothes and hoes is ridiculous. People who aren't black or don't listen to rap music enjoy trying to live an emulating "rock star lifestyles" too. Just in case you thought rock star, punk clothes or alternative rock; preppy styled clothes from Ambercrombie and Hollister was cheap i suggest you take a look at http://www.HotTopic.com, and http://www.Hollisterco.com just to get an idea. This idea that hip hop head nodding African Americas are the only ones prone to live bigger than our budgets is crazy.

The idea that issues among the African American community is only in the African American community baffles me every time.

What is Respect?

Respect is understanding someone else point of view.

What is a Hoe?

Tonight at my schools's Chapter of NAACP the question "How do you define Hoe? came up. Shortly after that, a female posted on FaceBook.com that she has had sex with 23 people. Now, I am not one to pass remarks and I don't think its appropriate to judge but it came as a shocker to me. I believe that people should be free and comfortable enough with themselves to have "casual sex" reason being that if a female thinks sex is a seal on the deal that proves they have something special with a man, then that female is bound to suffer emotionally when some men don't respect that and in turn "beat it and leave it." I am in no way condoning men who don't respect a woman's morals but I do think that someone having premarital sex should be emotionally prepared for the many inconsiderate men out there. Men, I am not man bashing. Please don't take my comments that way.

Any how. Enough Disclaimer. What is a Hoe? Well Sitting in the meeting I decided that a hoe is someone who doesnt respect their body. It is hard to decipher what exactly a hoe is. Now, It's intersting that I use such a colorful definition, right? But it is difficult to classify what exactly a hoe is. I do not think its wrong for a woman to have a "one night stand." Every so often a woman yearns to do some thing adventurous. However, too many one night stands? I would classify you as a hoe. I dont think its too bad of a thing for a woman to have quite a few bodies. However too many bodies? I would classify you as a hoe.

So here is the REAL question. How many is too many? Well if you are constantly on the prowl for a one night stand, chances are... A respectable woman should not be willing to give her body up to every attractive man. A woman should know her self worth. I think one "one night stand" for every two years that you hvae been having sex is appropriate. At age 20, you should not have 20 bodies. While some people dont like thae idea of women having a double digit number of bodies, i beg to differ. I think 2 for every year since you have been having sex is most appropriate however that is situational. If a woman had a year where she was in 3 relationships she thought were strong then she of course would have exceeded what i think is appropriate and I dont think thats wrong. You know what? My numbers are just safe. I wont swear by them, I will say, they are most appropriate for me. The years living:Sexual partner ratio should not be 1:1, a "body count" is situational but a woman who respects her body wouldnt let the number get out of hand.

The truth of the matter is there are way too many dimensions to what makes a woman a whore. A lot of women may call themselves a "player" or doing the same thing men do but it doesnt add up and its not the same. I once read on twitter.com "A key that opens all doors is considered a master key, a door that can be opened by any key has a faulty lock." I say this to say, women have fun and enjoy healthy sexual relationships but respect your self and your body. They are with you for the long run. As great as "the real thing" may feel if you cant find a sexual partner that can last a while a good idea is to find a good sex toy. Promiscuity can easily be regretted after a few more years when maturity and wisdom takes over.

Ending Disclaimer: This post focused on women however.... MEN SHOULD REPSECT THEIR BODIES TOO