Fall 2010

I've always been someone who enjoyed a good challenge. I've had very difficult semesters throughout my college career but this one sure as hell took the cake. I'm almost certain it has destructed my mental health. For the first time in my life I felt incompetent. Now, as a college student these are feelings that can be very damaging and detrimental. We are in a situation where if we feel like we can't we have to decide whether or not it's wise to continue to spend 42,000 dollars a year only to never fully grasp what your being taught. I for one am not the type to give up just because of a mere 6-10 week struggle but I wonder... How many people who could have been great gave up on there dream because a professor told them they didn't have what it takes. How many of Obama's peers laughed when he told them he was thinking of rumbaing for president? All I'm saying here is... When the going gets tough... Show the going who's boss. I feel like this semester only taught me that life isn't smooth sailing just because I'm smart and intelligent (and I say that humbly) sometime there are going to be major set backs, like fall 2010. Life doesn't always go according to plan. I'm really taking this major loss with a bucket of sugar but Im not giving up. What do you do when you find yourself in a situation that you feel is trying your future?

The Black Woman’s Manifesto For 2011

http://clutchmagonline.com/lifeculture/feature/black-women%E2%80%99s-manifesto-for-2011/

Take a look.

The Facts of Life.

So many really bad situations have been happening in my life. This song sums up how ive been trying to think and feel the last six weeks are so.

You take the good, you take the bad,
you take them both and there you have
The Facts of Life, the Facts of Life.

There's a time you got to go and show
You're growin' now you know about
The Facts of Life, the Facts of Life.

When the world never seems
to be livin up to your dreams
And suddenly you're finding out
the Facts of Life are all about you, you.

It takes a lot to get 'em right
When you're learning the Facts of Life. (learning the Facts of Life)

The Single Woman

Last night I was having a conversation with someone who has been single for three years. Prior to this... she had a been in a long term committed relationship for about 5 years. She, like myself is content with the single life. Interestingly enough I just saw Just Wright. In the movie, Queen Latifah has a hard time finding a boyfriend and was bitter and disappointed that she was so old (35) and couldn't get into a relationship.

Now the person I had the conversation with spoke highly of the single life. I asked her why other girls are so bitter about being single since the life of having options is so enjoyable. She replied "Because they cant find people." Sheesh. Never thought about it that way. That must really hurt some women's feelings. Imagine the idea of going through life feeling like you just aren't good enough. Well... words of advice.

1) The whole man bashing? Thats not going to help. They'll smell your bitterness and run far away.

2) Stop Clinging to these men. You get one and you want to hold on for dear life. If that should be built up. not forced. Forcing is the one guaranteed way to have him leave you.

3) Just chill. You need to know who you are before you go out and find someone else. If you cant find yourself content enough to just be one with yourself, it just may not be healthy for you to be in a relationship.

4) Stop living your life based off of @TheSingleWoman (on twitter) [wanna hear a secret] Men arent going to think your stronger because you RT their cliche quotes and words of advice. They'll actually make judgement on the fact that your following @TheSingleWoman on twitter AND that you find all that crap inspirational

5) LAST but not Least. Youv'e gotten WAY too far in reading a post about how to keep a man from a Single Woman. Do you see why thats a problem? Stop feeding into all this how to get/keep a man stuff in self help books and on the internet. Just be you. If your not you then the next blog you'll be wanting to read is "The Broken-Hearted"

Just some thoughts ladies. Dont be a whore but enjoy your life and your youth. These men, they'll always be here. And since you like cliche stuff anyways.... "If its meant to be itll be"

Unusual Addictions

So... Usually people who are addicted to social networks have no life. Although I'm addicted, I am not one of those. My addiction is severe. I'm someone who likes to know things. Ive been that way throughout my whole life. Popularity was never a factor, there are times and situations where I have been the popular one and times when I was just some girl, in both cases I still needed to know what was happening around me. My love for twitter came about because people tweet their realest feelings (whether they realize it our not) and often times just by following someone... even if they are "fronting for twitter" it is not difficult to get a sense of who that person is.
While trying to have a friend join the network I told her its like a sure fire way of keeping up with your friends even when they are no where near you.
This isn't a post to profess my love for social networks (its actually a way to procrastinate now that Ive eliminated them for finals seasons) but to share with you something Ive noticed. My constant interaction with friends (and people of that nature) through my twitter and Facebook has almost nullified the fact that I do not have any friends at my new school, it actually minimizes my efforts (although i do make some) to form new relationships. I find myself so sealed into the life of my friends, people of that nature and the people I love that as opposed to settling into my situation I keep tabs with them and anticipate gatherings.
Should their be a cap on friendships? Is there an amount that once your content you should stop? There cant possibly THAT many people in this world that you get along with so well. (unless your Greek, of course) By the way I forgot many of my readers dont know me. Theses thought (these somewhat random thoughts) are not usual for me. Im the type of person who loves to meet new people. Im just wondering If its completely necessary to make more friends and have more relationships that I would like to be everlasting. How many people should I really share bonds with? I haven't been victim to a back stabbing friendship yet but Im quite sure that having too many and the eagerness to have friends can be a prime factor.

That being said, Im not bitter that I havent mad friends at school yet. (Disappointed but not bitter). I just wonder... if i couldn't connect to the people im familiar with... would I be upset and saddened at my lack of friends on campus? Would I make more of an effort to hang with people here? Hmmmmm I wonder.

New Year!

Everyone knows.... new YEAR means New Year's resolutions. My idea of a "resolution" is a little bit different. The whole "It 20__ Im cutting fake people off and blah blah" or the "This year is MY year" stuff is cute. However its old and redundant. If you feel strong about a goal why wait until a new year? Start now! Instead Ive made a tradition. I think of a quote to live by on New Years and thats the one I live by. If i find it before then, ill just live according to it upon retrieval. Also... if its your resolution, you should want to LIVE by it. In 2005 my resolution was "The good over powers the bad" almost 6 years later and I still live by that it difficult as it is to really believe and invest in that when times get hard. If you've decided that your going to make a resolution live by it. Instead of "cutting off all the fake people" why dont you aspire to network and meet better people, then continue to do that for the rest of your life? Think about it. If we are going to make New Year's day a milestone for a major change, make it a real and major significant change that focuses on positivity.

Home Work ... About that....

What is your favorite pass time when you want to procrastinate? I just deactivated my Facebook (since I don't have self control) and now that I have a a phone... i can change my twitter password. All that though? Yea... I know I should be old/mature enough to just get it done, right? Such is life. :p

What Do We Learn at Funerals

Tonight I went to the funeral of my God Sister's older brother. A good man who literally lived his live to the fullest and brought joy to those who knew him. And I say that as someone who didnt know him very well, the few times I did meet, see or come in contact with him though, it was nothing short of a pleasure. Anyhow, I must commend the Webster family. Naeem Webster's "Celebration of Life" was well done. For one the church had quite a few hundred people of every caliber there to pay their respects, all of which had unlimited good things to say. Next the service was so well done that the pastor (who has never met Naeem) was so enlightened as to what his character was like that he felt comfortable enough to try making a joke on Naeem's behalf. Actually, everyone tried, no one came close though, Ny was clearly the better comedian.

Anyhow point of this was: Naeem was fortunate enough to have been someone who found his value in life. He was one of the few young people who can do really well, progress and give back while succeeding as well as being the perfect friend, brother, boyfriend, son or person to know. It is because of that and his nature that he was able to PACK a church and have ROWS of people standing in the back and both sides of the church for two hours to say goodbye. I'm sure people left the service and all they could think of how good of a person he was. I left happy that he was celebrated so well and excited that he was able to live such a good life.

How many times do we witness loved a one passing or go into a funeral for support and feel inspired. Inspired to live our lives so we can be memorable. Everyone knows after mourning our selfish self wonders... What if that was ME? What would people have to say? Would they have good memories? Would I have left and impact? Will people even show up to say bye? Then for the next few days, weeks and sometimes months that we mourn we try to live our lives well and take risks. Truth is, we never know when its our last day. Then a few months, maybe a year after people forget that feeling and continue to go back to a life where they may not be remembered well or may not be full-filling their lives as much as they possibly can.

Im tired of watching people get inspired and then loose their inspiration soon after. With that being said: Truly live your live to the fullest, Raise your children well (when your ready to have children), Make sacrifices to spend time with them, love your friends and embrace those that actually care about you. Full-fill the life you have the ability to fulfill while you still can and always remember to love yourself.